Goodbye

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Goodbye

I could feel my flesh being ripped open by the crank. Their nails digging into my leg. I screamed in pain, thrashing my arms and legs to get free. Thankfully, Newt and Frypan pulled me away from them. They helped me to my feet, but it still hurt. Newt gave me a worried look as I limped a bit to get my balance. I waved him off, telling him I'm fine. Then before I knew it we were all running again. I tried my hardest not to cry or slow down. Newt kept glancing at me with a frightened look, so I tried not to show how much pain I was in.

Finally Thomas found a spot for us to sleep, where the cranks wouldn't find us. I curled up in a little ball and tried to fall asleep, but the pain just kept getting worse. After I knew everyone was asleep, I sat up and lifted my pant leg to see a huge gash in my calf. The blood had dried and now turned black. The wound went so deep I could see white from my bone. I quickly torn off a piece of my scarf and wrapped it around my gash.

"Why didn't you tell me it was that bad?" I hear a voice say. The voice startles me and I jump a bit. I can't see a thing in the pitch black, but I know just by the accent that it was Newt.

"Newt... I..." I stutter.

"(Y/N), you should've told me! This is a big deal! You could die from this! I can't lose you (Y/N)!" Newt whisper shouts. I take his hand and squeeze it.

"Newt, please don't tell the others. I'll be fine. I promise." I beg my best friend. I get really close to his face to be able to read his facial expression. His face isn't angry or worried like I thought it might be. Instead there's a trace of sympathy in his eyes. His head drops and I can see his breath as he exhales loudly.

"Okay, but you have to tell me if it gets worse." Newt tells me and I nod. "Now you better get some sleep... Come over here, I'll keep you warm." Newt continues. I do as he says and crawl over to him and curl up against his chest. I feel Newt's arms wrap around my waist and pull me even closer.

I wake up to agonizing pain in my leg. It takes every ounce of dignity and energy I have left to not whimper or scream out in pain. I jerk my leg up and hold it to my stomach and rock back and forth. I feel a hand on my side. I turn to see Newt with worry in his eyes as I try to hide my pain. I give him a reassuring look then stand as the pain lessens. I begin to shake the guys awake. Newt doesn't take his eyes off me the whole time.

"Ready guys?" I ask, after they all wake up. They all reply with their chorus of yeahs.

We continue to advance up the huge sand dunes and across the long plains of sand. My leg begins to throb and I have to tell everyone that I have sand in my boot to keep them from asking questions. Luckily everyone buys it, except Newt. Newt keeps eyeing me up. Making sure I'm not getting worse.

The sun starts to set and we all decide it's time to take a break. We all lay in the sand and try to imagine what it'd be like to be laying in a real bed.

I wake up to the most agonizing pain I've ever felt. I let out a small whimper, but luckily no one wakes up. Or at least that's what I thought.

"(Y/N)! Are you alright." I whip my head in Newt's direction. He crawls over to me and before I can stop him he starts to peel off my homemade bandage. I hear him gasp at the sight of my growing wound. I glance at it too and know that I won't last too much longer. For some reason I almost feel relieved. Newt quickly takes off his own scarf and wraps it around my even bigger gash that has now turned into a blackish purple. Before long the pain takes over and I pass out onto Newt's lap.

I wake up to Newt calling my name.

"(Y/N). We're gonna leave now. Do you just want me to carry you?" Newt asks. My half asleep conscious just nods in response. The next thing I know, I'm being carried through the harsh winds. I want to walk, but my body feels so weak. So limp. I try to open my eyes, but the wind is blowing sand so harshly that I can't open them without sand getting in them. So I just tried my best to fall back asleep.

The pain starts to grow up my leg to my stomach. I wake up on the sandy floor again. I roll over on my side and instantly shriek. Newt immediately grabs my body and lifts me up so I open my eyes.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! Are you okay?" Newt yells. All the guys wake up and are suddenly surrounding me. I begin to sob, the pain being too much. I roll over and notice a pistol sticking out of Minho's bag. I reach out for it. My fingers wrap around the grip. I bring it to my head and watch as all the boys jump at me, trying to get it away from me.

Newt grabs the gun and chucks it far from where I lay.

"(Y/N)! What are you doing!?" he asks. His hands flying in the air for emphasis.

"I'm done Newt. Please let me go. It's my time" I try to convince him, but he's too stubborn and too loyal to let me give up like this.

I look up into his eyes and I see the young boy I met in the Glade so many years ago. Now he's become such a respectable man. I feel tears building up in my eyes as I realize this is the last time I'll ever see him.

"Newt, I don't want to become one of them. Please. It's all I ask of you. As my friend. Please understand I'm not giving up, I'm ending it before it ends me." I tell him. At this point all the boys go down the line taking my hand and squeezing it, saying goodbye. Then it's just Newt and I. He's still just kneeling over me, with a dumbfounded look on his face.

"Newt, before I... Go... I want you to know that..." I'm cut off by Newt's lips on mine. His hand lays itself on my cheek. I cover his hand with my own. I close my eyes and let all our emotions come out into a simple kiss. Newt pulls away and I open my mouth to talk, but he shakes his head.

Newt lays the pistol on my chest, taking my hand to take his hand's place on the gun.

"I love you, (Y/N)." Newt tells me before a tear rolls down his cheek.

"I love you too, Newt." I give him a faint smile before he turns around and walks away.

Newt's Pov:

I trudge through the sand with my hands gripping the straps of my backpack. Us guys keep walking in silence, awaiting for the gun shot of my best friend and love of my life's death.

I keep my pace up, knowing that I won't be able to keep up after I hear it.

We make it about half a mile when a gunshot echoes through the desert. I cover my ears as I immediately drop to my knees. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see all my friends looking down at me, each with their own sympathetic smiles, telling me we have to keep moving. I get up, letting a tear drop to the sand, and continue on.   


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