Homecoming Pt.4

Cam 70

"Y'all don't understand why I have to go back, I feel like I left a part of myself over there and if I don't go back I'm never going to going to be the same. One of my friends was a PJ or Pararescuemen and their motto is 'That Others May Live' if I don't go back and complete the mission we started everything they lived and died for would be in vain......" I said looking at my brothers. When we got back to Houston there was a big ass argument with Khalil, Liberty, Legacy and Cadence on one side and Devin and Enzo on the other, they didn't get why I HAD to go back. "Y'all are looking at it from an outside view y'all don't get it...... y'all can't see how badly I wanna stay here, how badly I wanna wake up next to my wife everyday, how badly I want to take my kids to school, to see my daughter being born, to beat my brothers ass in every game we play, to make sure my sister's husband doesn't step a toe out of line, to make sure my nieces and nephews are good in every way." I said quietly.

"Cam you can have all of that if you stay....... you don't have to go back." Khalil said from the corner of the room.

"You also don't see the other side, there are some things I have to over there that only I can complete, do you know how hard it will be to find someone who can do the things that are asked of me? And every second they spend looking puts my friends..... my family at risk. The guilt I will feel if I don't go back, the feeling that I let my friends down, will destroy me and  will be far worse than what will happen to me if I do go back." I said looking at each one of them. "It's only five more months...." I said as Liberty walked out the room.

"I know we just met and my opinion probably means nothing to you, but I respect your decision. Not a lot of people can do what you do and I think that nobody in this room will hate you for wanting to be loyal to your friends." Dominique said, Khalil looked at us and shook his head.

"I guess your choice is made." He said walking upstairs with Cadence and Legacy following behind him.

"I'll talk to him Cam." Marcus said chasing after him, soon it was just me and Enzo sitting in the basement and I felt like shyt, I really wanted my family to support my decision but it was clear that no matter what I decided I was letting someone down.

"You remember the conversation we had the other day, about when I found out I had cancer?" Enzo asked and I nodded. "The one thing that I left I was what happened when I got home....... for about an hour, I questioned what I had to live for, my parents were both gone, it seemed like I had nothing to live for....... when I finally calmed down I realized that I couldn't worry about myself because I knew the people around me weren't going to handle it well, especially Khalil. He may seem selfish as fuck right now but that's because he cares so much, he's always been protective of his family and I think he eels that he can't protect you over there. But I promise he's going to be the happiest once you get back."

"Yeah but that's the thing Enzo, me and you we're the same. We spend so much time worrying about everyone else that we never take the time for ourselves....... I mean look at me, I'm still looking out for Devin's stupid ass." I said smiling. "Even when I was considering suicide, the reason I stopped myself because I didn't want to put my family through that."

"Cam.... we both have had those thoughts but me and you we need to keep each other strong. So if you ever get to that point again call me, I'll talk you through it." He said.

"Thanks man...... but who are you going to talk to if you start feeling that way? It's not like I'm going to be easy to reach." I said.

"I got Legacy.... he deserves to know how I've been feeling and plus he's been mad at me these last couple days, he thinks I'm holding back my feelings on everything and it's pissing him off." Enzo said shaking his head. "Your friend is too smart."

"You knew that before you married him." I said laughing. Devin walked back down to the basement with Sa'vion, Dominique and Khalil bringing up the rear. "Let talk to these niggas real quick." I said and Lorenzo walked out giving me some time with my brothers.

"Cadence was too pissed to come down here...... and Khalil has something he wants to say." Devin said hitting him in the arm.

"Cam......the last time you left I felt like shyt because I couldn't keep you safe. Every time I heard something on the news I kept expecting to get a phone call saying.......... I'm just afraid that if you go back I won't ever see you again." Khalil said.

"Big bro...... I'm tough, I mean I survived living with Kadeem." I said smiling. "You have my word I'll come back, now let me talk to these two clowns." I said pointing at Sa'vion and Dominique, I sat there looking at these two men; one who I've known my entire life and one I barely knew but they were my brothers and I felt like I should leave them with some last words in case I couldn't keep my  promise to Khalil.....

"You're not going to start crying are you? I would hate to have to beat your ass like when we were kids." Sa'vion said smiling.

"Nah punk.... and if I remember correctly last time we fought I won. But in all seriousness, I need you too look after those two, we both know Khalil and Devin aren't built like us emotionally Kadeem didn't tolerate men showing too many feelings and I know they're going to take me leaving again hard and you're the only person who can keep them from letting there emotions get out of control. especially Devin..... he's holding too much in and he's going to break soon." I said and Sa'vion nodded before walking upstairs, leaving me with my youngest brother.

"I wish we got to have more time to get to know each other before you went back. I'll probably be back in Jackson when you get home, so make sure you hit me up." Dominique said.

"Yeah I wish we had more time too..... but part of the reason I wanted to talk to you was because of what happened in Jackson....." I said and he shifted nervously. "Never underestimate your big bro, I know you did what you felt you had too but it's best if you don't go back...... at least not for a while, I think I may be able to help you." I said looking in his eyes.

"Aight and thanks......" He said sticking out his hand, I grabbed it tightly and pulled him in for a hug. Once we were done I went to find my girl and found her outside talking on the phone with one of her friends.

"You know we have to get five months of fucking in before I leave." I said hanging up her phone. "I'm sorry for leaving you and the kids again....... I know it can't be easy for you." I said looking in her eyes.

"Please these kids know not to mess with me...... my main issue isn't you wanting to go back Camden, the thing that hurts me the most is having to say goodbye." She said quietly. "I miss you when you're gone but I have people to keep me from going crazy, but the hardest thing is watching you walk away."

"The thing is you always know I'm going to find my way back to you." I said kissing her forehead.

"And there's the issue of what you're going through, Camden I've seen you how jumpy you are, I see you saying up at night or waking up sweating, when we drive somewhere you're nervous and constantly looking around. I just want you to come back whole......" Liberty said.

"Whenever I feel like I'm slipping mentally, going back to that dark place..... I'll play our song and remember everything everything I hold dear and when I get back it's everything is going to change, I'm going to start looking for a new job something that keeps me closer to home and maybe we can start considering looking at new places to live possibly moving back to Miami." I said.

"Okay Camden..... but you better come back. Don't make me come over there in my bathrobe and hair in curlers." Liberty said watching my hand slowly travelling up her leg and under her skirt.

"Whatever you want....." I said licking my as my fingers pushed her panties to the side. "Now let's get out of here and make the most of the time we have left." I said licking her juices off my fingers. I hated leaving but I needed this for my sanity, but I knew once I got back maybe the best thing for me and my family was getting away for a while..........................