I had just finished packing all my bags and I can honestly say I wasn't sad to be leaving; these damn kids done stressed me the hell out and I think I deserved a break from them. I looked at my bag trying to decided between the autographed baseball bat I got from my one night stand with Matt Kemp or the little 9mm I got from my whirlwind romance with Big Sean's sexy ass, as I tried to decided Marsean and Marcus walked into my room looking like two big ass babies. I knew they were going to miss me but come on it was on three months, I'm pretty sure they can survive without me for that long unless they need me to come back and pop a bitch which I would gladly do in a heartbeat. Marcus walked over to gun and put it back in the safe while Marsean took the bat and put it in my closet, I swear they never let me have any fun..... Marsean grabbed my bags and took them downstairs leaving me with my baby, Marcus had come a long way since he was that funny looking ass kid that scared me a few times because I thought he might end up looking just like his daddy, thankfully that wasn't the case.
"Aight so what exactly is the plan? I know you, Ms. Loretta and Dominique's mom Jackie's first stop is in London but I highly doubt y'all will spend three months there." Marcus asked and I just sat there looking at him. "What's wrong?" He asked with a hint of concern in his voice.
"I'm just trying to figure out on what planet you think it's ever okay for you to question what I'm doing remember parent.... child. But since you'll probably keep sucking me until I tell you here's the plan; were going to start in England, we're having tea with the queen and you know the royals got all the juiciest tea. After that I plan on Pop, Lock and Droppin it in Paris, before getting high as a kite in Germany, sippin Moscato in Sicily, before heading to Morocco to see Ebay's sexy ass again. Then I gotta head to Switzerland to see your Aunt Tina, she hasn't been feeling to well after that I plan on slaying everything since I'm walking in New York Fashion Week, then I'll stop back in Ohio for a while before going to see my boo Big Sean in Detroit..... it'll only be after I finish everything on my list will I be back." I said checking my nails.
"Mom for the last time Tina Turner is not your sister, Dorothy Dandridge is not your mother, you were never married to Gerald LeVert, you never got any sort of boxing lessons from Muhammad or Laila Ali and you were not Pam Grier's stunt double in 'Jackie Brown'." Marcus said and had to sit on my hands to keep from slapping him.
"If you say so Marcus and you weren't trying to do the splits on Khalil's dick last night....... grab the rest of my bags while I go say bye to my grandbabies." I said walking out the room. "What did you just say? I thought I heard a smart ass comment....." I asked turning around and Marcus knew it was in his best interest to keep his mouth shut. I walked into Marquise's room where him and Marcel were either fighting or playing whatever they were doing I wasn't about to stop them so I moved on to Cori's room and like always him and Marcus were on that damn game.
"Grandma you got candy?" MJ asked and I looked at him.
"Boy you need to be finding your teeth why you sitting here asked for candy, but here." I said giving him and Cori some of the Tums I kept in my purse, hell they didn't know the difference. "Y'all know y'all are my favorite right?" I asked smiling as they both nodded. " Aight just don't tell anybody, y'all be good." I said kissing them both. I got up and walked down to Noah's room hoping like hell he wasn't doing what every boy his age did when they were alone, I walked inside and he was on his damn phone with his hand in his pants.
"Jade I'll call you back, wassup grandma..... what seriously?" He asked as I pulled out some hand sanitizer. "I wasn't even doing that I was just...... my hand was cold." Noah said blushing.
"Whatever you say Noah, but look I'm about to be getting out of here...... you make sure you take care of your brothers and cousins, if your dads start getting on your nerves there's a little trick I can teach you so just call me and I promise they'll leave you alone for at least two hours but it's only in case of emergencies. Now before I go here's a little warning if I come back and you got Jade pregnant....... I'll kill you." I said smiling at the look of fear in his eyes. "Okay I gotta go, you know you're my favorite right?" I asked and Noah rolled his eyes.
"Yeah grandma I know, love you and have fun." He said grabbing his phone and calling Jade. I walked downstairs where Marcus, Marsean, Khalil and Tonya were all waiting.
"Zyshaun should be here any minute so you're really leaving us for three whole months?" Khalil asked and I nodded.
"Yeah y'all got on my damn nerves so I need to go...... but don't worry I'll be back, just promise me one thing..... nobody will be pregnant once I get." I said looking specifically at Tonya.
"Why are you looking at me Ma? You need to be looking at Marsean who is convinced that I'm having three more boys he better be glad he got the two he got, I might try for a little girl but no promises." Tonya said and looked at Marsean.
"I'm addicted......." He said shrugging, I started to say something smart but someone started honking outside and I looked around because I know that wasn't for me. "Ma I think that's Zyshaun." Marsean said quietly.
"Khalil go tell your friend he better get his ass out the car, knock on the door and tell me he's here like he got some damn sense. What do I look like running outside to a damn horn." I asked watching as Khalil ran outside quickly, then there was a bunch of yelling from upstairs. "Go check on them boys Tonya." I said because I was officially off the clock.
"Ma, your car is waiting and to make up for my ignorance I'll carry your bags personally." Zyshaun said grabbing my bags and Khalil started helping him leaving me with my two sons who have made me more than proud.
"Well I'm outta here, Marsean I'm deathly serious when I say no more kids. I mean your a doctor I'm pretty sure you can work something out to fix your horniness like a vasectomy and Marcus baby please for me please win at least one case while I'm gone......" I said smirking.
"Whatever mom you know I'm on a winning streak....." Marcus said hugging me.
"Well I gotta go, I'll see y'all soon just not too soon but before I go I wanna leave y'all with these words....... 'I hope life treats you kind. And I hope you have all you've dreamed of, and I wish you joy and happiness. But above all this I wish you love............ And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII... will always love you............. I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you I, I will always love you. You. Darling, I love you. I'll always... I'll always love you..........' Y'all know I wrote that song right?" I said walking out laughing. I got outside gave Khalil a kiss on the cheek and got in the car. Whelp I'm out this bitch, hopefully during my travels I meet up with that bitch Roseline because me and her still have to get a round in but for right now I just wanna sit back and enjoy my vacation and try to see how many things I can cross off my sexual bucket list before I get back.... and yes I will be back you can bet on that.........................
