Break My Heart (Ashton Irwin) - Part 3

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Five weeks later

It had been over a month since you had last spoken to Ashton. He would try to stop you after class, but you refused to even glance at him. It hurt you more than anything to ignore him, but then again, it was the exact same thing he'd done to you before you confronted him.

You'd been keeping your mind off of it though – Calum had been an angel in helping you do that, insisting that he take you out to do something fun every weekend, and that's what you were getting ready for tonight.

Calum had informed you that he was going to take you bowling, so you were in your bathroom finishing getting ready. You had a tendency to underestimate how much time it would take you to shower and do your hair, so, as per usual, you were still getting ready when you heard a knock on your bedroom door.

"Come in, Cal!" you called out of your bathroom, "I'm almost ready!" But the voice that responded wasn't the voice you expected to hear.

"It's not Cal, Y/N," Ashton replied lowly after coming into your room and closing the door behind him, making you freeze.

You quickly finished curling the last piece of your hair before turning your curling iron off. You looked at yourself in the mirror for a moment – not ready to face Ashton, but not really having a choice either.

Ashton's heart was racing as he heard you turn off your bathroom light and open the door. He didn't know where you and Calum had planned on going before convincing him that he needed to talk to you instead – all he knew was that the way you looked right now took his breath away.

But his heart sank the moment you spoke.

"You need to leave, Ashton," you said firmly despite how shaky your voice was.

"I need to talk to you," he replied just as confidently.

"Really?" you cocked an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your stomach, "So you're allowed to come over here unannounced when you need to talk, but I'm not allowed to text you asking to meet up with me so I can say what I need to?"

"Y/N, just let me-"

"No, Ashton!" you exclaimed, his heart sinking again at how hurt you were, "Why should I let you talk when you wouldn't let me?! That's not fair! You promised me nothing would change, and then you just started ignoring me! After everything I've ever done for you, you couldn't find two minutes to let me say what I needed to?! What kind of friend does that?! If Calum did that to you, you'd have been over here whining about how you wanted him to apologize instead of just sucking it up and going to him first!"

"I'm trying to, Y/N!" Ashton finally interrupted your rant, "I'm trying to suck it up and apologize! I don't have a good reason for doing what I did and I know that was a real dick move, but I didn't know what else to do! I've never known what it was like to have my best friend tell me they love me before! And I know I handled it in the stupidest way possible, but I panicked! And I'm sorry! I'm sorry for how I've been treating you since that night, okay?! I don't know why I thought that was the best idea, but I've had time to think about how much of an asshole I've been to you! And I understand if this changes the way things used to be for us now, but I can't lose you!" Ashton's own rant ended with a break in his voice and you felt like you couldn't catch your breath.

And maybe you shouldn't have – maybe you should have kicked him out and continued to ignore him – but you couldn't anymore. You couldn't keep yourself away from him because you missed him too much. It had only been a few weeks since you stopped talking to him; You weren't going to get over him in that amount of time – if you ever got over him at all.

But you didn't necessarily want to either.

You desperately wanted Ashton to stay in your life because, no matter how much it hurt that he didn't feel the same, he was still your best friend and you knew you could never just abandon that. So, as you felt the tears well up in your eyes, you rushed forward and threw your arms around his waist.

Ashton let out a deep sigh, his arms winding around your shoulders and holding you just as tightly as you were holding him. One of his hands was on the back of your head, his fingertips lightly scratching your scalp as he felt you shake due to your crying.

"Princess, please don't cry," he murmured into your ear.

"I mi-miss you," you whimpered, squeezing him a bit.

"I miss you too," he assured you, "And I know you don't want to talk right now, so can you just promise me you'll listen?" You, curious as to what he meant, nodded your head so he would go on. "About the night I said I wanted to be just friends... I was lying... I've always been in love with you, Y/N; I was just scared... I think I was scared that I loved you too much..." he finally admitted to someone other than himself, "But nothing has ever scared me more than the thought of losing you. I'm so sorry I lied to you both times you asked me if I felt the same... I don't know why I ever thought I could realistically live my life without you in it; I guess I just never really considered it being a real possibility until now... If you still feel the same about me, I would love nothing more than to give us a chance... But if you don't, that's okay too. I'll do whatever you want as long as it means you don't leave me again." You moved back to look at him for a moment.

"Whatever I want?" you asked softly.

"Whatever you want," he affirmed, cocking an eyebrow in confusion until he realized you were blatantly staring at his lips. He finally cracked a smile – though it was a small one – and rested his forehead on yours. "You want me to kiss you?" he asked, making sure you actually did before he did it. He felt you nod and smiled a little bigger, but you didn't get to really enjoy it since he immediately tilted his head and pressed his lips to yours.

You couldn't help but sigh in content – you'd obviously been in love with Ashton for so long that it felt nice to finally be kissing him. His lips were slightly chapped, but they were soft and it felt like they were made for yours – like they were two puzzle pieces finally coming together.

When you finally needed to breathe, you pulled away, watching Ashton's eyes flutter open with a blissful expression on his face. He looked at you for a moment before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, leaving his lips there for a few moments before pulling away.

"This doesn't mean everything is gonna be okay again right away, Ash," you reminded him lowly.

"I know," he murmured, putting his forehead back on yours and just breathing in the scent of the perfume he loved so much, "But I promise I'm never gonna do anything like that to you again."

"It's gonna take a lot more than a promise to prove it, Ashton," you informed him, feeling him sigh deeply.

"How many ice cream cones am I gonna have to buy for you?" he asked seriously, "Because if I need to start an ice cream fund, I wanna start saving now." You tried not to smile and it only made Ashton smirk. "I know exactly what I have to do when you're upset," he reminded you, "You want an ice cream cone from McDonald's every time. So how many is the nightmare I put you through going to cost me?" You were silent before nodding.

"All of them," you replied.

Ashton instantly started prodding at your sides to make you laugh while he kissed you again. You were finally able to grab his hands and keep him from tickling you anymore, feeling him smile into the kiss as well before his forehead was on yours once again.

"I really am sorry, princess," he said softly.

"I know, Ash," you replied just as quietly, moving your head so you could kiss his cheek.

~

was this an abrupt change in behavior??? maybe
did y/n forgive sooner than she should have??? probably
do i care about either of those things??? absolutely not

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