Kid In Love - Shawn Mendes Fan Fiction

Chapter 6

Shawn: "Omg are you ok?" He said while walking in the room.
Me: "Yeah yeah don't worry" I said while wiping the tears away.
I looked like a mess. My eyes were red and puffy and my nose was running. I didn't want him to see me like that. Shawn sat down next to me on the bed.
Shawn: "Do you wanna talk about it? I know we don't really know each other but if there's something that you need to get off your chest you tell me. I won't tell anyone if you don't want."
I looked down at my fingers. It's true that I need someone right now. But I'm not sure if he's the right person. I mean, we don't really know each other.
I looked back at him. He was looking at me, concerned. He really looked like he cared about me.
Me: "It's my ex..."
Shawn: "What happened?"
I felt that the tears were starting to come back. I started playing with a strand of hair.
Me: "He committed suicide." Shawn's mouth slightly opened, he definitely wasn't ready to hear me say something like that.
Me: "Because of me."
I tear fell down my cheek.
Shawn: "Wha- What do you mean?"
Me: "I left him. I broke him. I had good reasons but I was still the one who broke his heart. He felt so sorry for what he did and i just kept ignoring him. I was so mean to him... it's my fault if he committed suicide"
Saying that out loud really broke me. I started crying so I placed my hands on my face.
Shawn: "Claire-"
Me: "I'm sorry"
I got up and walked to the bathroom.
Why did I tell him that? Why am I so dumb? He probably thinks that I'm the worst person ever.