Kid In Love - Shawn Mendes Fan Fiction

Chapter 165

I didn't even know what I was doing. I was just there, wide awake at two am in a hotel bathroom. I was trying to get my idea straight but I couldn't quite figure it out. I know it's probably a really easy thing to know for most girls, but I don't know why, I kept changing my mind. Yes, I trust Shawn and the only person with who I would want to do it is with him. But no, because I'm still a little bit scared of what will happen. But, I mean, isn't everyone scared the first time?
I was still in my mind when I heard little knocks on the door.
Shawn: "Claire? Are you okay?"
I turned around, confused. I didn't know Shawn was awake. But I could tell in his voice that he just woke up. I walked to the door and opened it, revealing a very sleepy but cute Shawn. His hair was very messy and his eyes were still half-closed.
Me: "Yeah"
Shawn: "What are you doing?" He asked, confused.
Me: "Nothing. I just- I couldn't sleep"
Shawn: "Why?"
Me: "I don't know"
Shawn: "Babe, if you can't sleep, there's been stuff going around your mind. Are you homesick? It's totally normal if-"
Me: "No, no. It's not that"
Shawn: "What is it, then?"
I looked down at my fingers, embarrassed. Shawn walked closer to me, taking my hands in his.
Me: "You know, what happened earlier, I don't-"
Shawn: "Did I do something wrong?" He asked, looking very worried, cutting me off.
Me: "No, no. It's not you"
Shawn: "Oh, okay"
Me: "It's just- I don't know if I'm ready"
Shawn: "Babe, I already told you this. It's totally fine if you're not. We don't have to rush anything. I can wait, don't worry"
Me: "No, that's not what I meant"
Shawn looked at me, very confused.
Me: "I think I am. I just don't know why I've been waiting this long. I'm just so confused and I don't even know why"
Shawn: "Claire, if you're still not sure about it, we can just wait. Just take your time to think. There's not reason to rush this"
Me: "No, Shawn. You don't get it. I'm ready. I'm just-" I looked down at my fingers "scared."